1 a.m.

I have a hard time with lesson planning. This is how hard. During the weekend, I usually set aside time for lesson planning. Well, that's a lie. In my mind, I say that, but I damn well know that most of the time it never happens. But at the outset of the weekend, I recognize that it would be a good idea to spend some time lesson planning. Then, well, this weekend. This very evening, I decided I would do my lesson planning tonight, Saturday night--I would stay up late and get sleep-deprived Saturday night instead of doing it, as I so often do, on Sunday night. So I drove 15 miles to my classroom, arriving here at 8:20 p.m. or so, and I settled down, and I ... graded.

At around 10:45 I kind of stopped myself, I managed to ask myself the question--or I managed to make the point to myself--you're not really making the best use of your time, are you? I mean, I was pretty distracted. I had Jack Johnson playing on YouTube. I kept checking my e-mail to see if the girl I'm currently flirting with had sent me anything. I occasionally checked sports scores at ESPN. (It seems to me like it was a slow day in sports today.) So I stopped myself, I moved away from my computer and I sat down in a student desk, and I thought, "What am I doing?" They say that good leadership is a prerequisite to good management, because the latter without the former could lead to perfect execution of, say, ladder-climbing, only to find that you are climbing the wrong building. My enthusiastic grading of homework assignments felt like it might be a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. I assign homework based on the traditional view that homework is the sign of a serious class. I don't put a hell of a lot of thought into homework. And yet, even after removing myself to the student desk, I ultimately went back to finishing the grading. I can't work with a disorganized mess hanging over me, and ungraded papers feel like a debt I owe to students--a bunch of their work, unrecognized.

So now, with that out of the way, I have no excuse not to plan. It is 12:45 a.m. on Sunday morning. The world is asleep. (Or partying. More likely, the world is partying. "We're up all night to get lucky ... We're up all night to get lucky .. .We're up all night to get lucky.")

Anyway, it would be easier to plan Geometry. Geometry has basically been laid out and planned for me by a master teacher whose work I really admire. I should probably just jump into that. But I'm thinking about Algebra, which I HAVE taught before, and so which I have some insights into. I've agreed to march in lockstep, to some extent, with the other Algebra teachers--we're piloting new materials, and also the two senior Algebra 1 teachers are ... insistent that we newer teachers follow their lead in terms of assessments and homework. I have already caused some problems by being negative about this. What are ya gonna do?

There is a dog barking a high-pitched dark from ... I assume from a nearby house. I wonder if his owners are on vacation, or too deaf to hear him, or if he's not in a house at all but a stray. It is pretty spooky being on campus so late. I ran into another teacher when I got here at 8:15--he had his door open and I scared the crap out of him by walking into it. He yelled out in terror, thus scaring the crap out of me. It was a pretty funny moment. He mentioned hearing doors slam when he's here at odd hours--says one of his students have told him of seeing ghosts on campus. I can't help looking at my window and imagining how I would feel if I saw somebody looking in at me. Geezus F. Cristo that would be scary.

The fact that I am here getting Algebra planning done at 1 in the morning in the middle of the weekend reminds me a little of the hero (not hero ... but say main character) of Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, spending days at the bottom of a well in order to find the mental state necessary to communicate with ... well, I don't want to spoil it. I drank some gas station coffee on my way here at 8, or else I'd probably be fried. I am a little fried. I'm going to have to crash soon, I think. Need to make a list of materials I need for this week. But I am getting somewhere; it feels like it's been a productive evening, in spite of myself. I have you blog readers to thank, to some extent. Sitting here and typing out what I'm doing helps, and actually, potentially, having an audience helps incentivize this helpful process.

Well, now it's 3:20. I've written out the kind of rudimentary lesson plans that I tend to write. It just feels good to have put some thought into the Algebra curriculum, so I won't be totally winging it. I even re-graded some of their tests from last week. I'll do a little bit of Geometry tomorrow, after my lunch date and before my volunteer time. G'night y'all! Wish me luck on the walk to the car and on the drive home ... the freaks and ghosts are out at night! Myself very much included.