Clean up, get out--that is my mission on Tuesdays. And on Fridays. Actually it's probably not a very good mission; I probably ought to stick around and ... work late. But that's what I do most days, and negative energy has often started to fester by the end of the day, and I just feel this visceral need to gtfo of that room. On Tuesdays and Fridays it's heightened, on Tuesdays because, like I said, I'm finished early, and there's something wonderful about getting to leave before everyone else does. And if I don't leave right away, then there's these sign posts in time telling me that the day is moving on .. .Now it's lunch and I still haven't left yet, now it's 2:30 and I still haven't left yet, and there is kind of a feeling of failure if all classes are dismissed at 2:45 and I still haven't left yet.
Then on Friday, it's the bright, brilliant weekend, and again I do get out a little early--only an hour early in this case. It's unusual that I leave within that hour, but there's a high degree of desire to do so ... Something about the beckoning weekend, and why should I spend any of it tied to my desk ... I just want to head out like a wave to shore. Is that an expression? Would it work as an expression?
Anyway. Today in geometry, I planned to go on a long, random tangent, and I followed through on that plan. I didn't know what the tangent would entirely be about, but I was enjoying myself while on stage in front of the class, so I'm grateful I got to have that moment. One student kind of punctured it by saying, "Can we talk about math now?" Some of the students were impressed by her rudeness, and I didn't really make her pay for it, which was sort of a mistake. Maybe I could have at least noted it. "You're not at all intimidated by the fact that I'm the teacher. You're not worried that you just made me look foolish?" This is actually reminding me, now that I think about it, a lot of an incident I experienced the previous day in my insane Algebra 1A class, where a student was rude to me in a different context. I have made a habit of not standing up for myself in those situations because I haven't known how to do so in an appropriate way. I need to visualize what that appropriate way is and then rehearse it. "I'm sorry--did I not craft this lesson exactly the way you wanted me to. Is that something you could have told me about in a more discrete manner?" Students need to stop feeling comfortable being brash, and mean, and ugly at my expense. And of course now I sound like the personification of a bruised ego, and it is just that self-consciousness about how I sound that makes me refrain from responding in kind. But I really do need to stand up for myself, for myself and for all authorities everywhere. Leaders cannot lead if they do not stand up for their own dignity and right to work free of abuse. Criticism has its place, but students can be trained to be critical in a more nuanced manner.
The second half of the geometry class, I gave them some sine/cosine problems to work on and then just had them start on their projects for homework. I'm actually quite happy to have come up with that homework assignment. It's just what the doctor ordered.
Next came Algebra. I tried to go on a similar tangent (similar in style, not in content) in that class but to less good effect. I tried to explain to them what I had gotten out of this video, which ... it was way over their heads. But any time I stop talking about something and say, "it's way over your head," well how does that make them feel?
Then, the lesson plan ... sucked. It was just, give out a new packet, correct the old packet, and then go around the room and say, "Do the packet! Work, work! Onward! It's good for you! Yes, that's correct! No, that isn't correct!"
I suppose ... if I were a more confident TEACHER, I would have some way of TEACHING this better ... The good news was that they were to be involved in practice throughout the period. The bad news is that ... it just wasn't a very inspired assignment.
One thing that I stumbled into while I was making these copies this class was ... Fair Use Doctrine! So ... I've been copying more out of this textbook I obtained on Amazon than I really have a right to do. The book is a Harold Jacobs production, an Algebra book ... that I just like better than the Holt we used last year and the Pearson we're piloting this year.
Well, now I've stayed up past my bedtime. You know, the main thing I wanted to accomplish in that Algebra class was to split up the class ... to re-teach the concept to one half and to let the other half work ahead a little bit. But they resist my efforts at being split, which means that I am splitting them clumsily ... I am not paying enough attention to my language when I make the split; I am not reassuring them enough about my motives being for their benefit; I am not reminding them enough that they prize learning the material above looking good in front of their friends.
So ... I do prize reflection, but I also prize sleep, and it's now past midnight my time. G'night.
It's really hard to tell what rudeness should be addressed to the class and what should be addressed on an individual basis. The phrase my mom used growing up was "Do you think there's a nicer way to say that?"
ReplyDeleteBut, I'm kind of a jerk. So maybe a different phrase, since that didn't work.